Narcissistic and Antagonistic Abuse

“Identifying a narcissistic person is far less important than understanding what qualifies as unacceptable behavior and what it does to you.”
— Dr. Ramani Durvasula, It’s Not You

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Understanding Narcissistic & Antagonistic Abuse

Narcissistic and antagonistic abuse can involve ongoing patterns of invalidation, manipulation, entitlement, lack of empathy and an imbalance of power or responsibility within a relationship. Over time, these dynamics can create confusion and self-doubt, leaving you questioning your perceptions, blaming yourself for what has happened, or becoming disconnected from your own feelings, needs and sense of self.

These experiences are not limited to romantic relationships. They can occur within families, friendships, workplaces and other relationships or social systems, and can be particularly painful when they involve betrayal by someone you trusted, depended on or felt deeply connected to.

The impact can look different for everyone. You may experience confusion, self-blame, shame, grief, anxiety, rumination, hypervigilance or isolation, or find that trusting yourself and your own experience has become increasingly difficult.

You May Recognise These Experiences...

You question your own memory, perceptions or judgement.

You wonder whether you're too sensitive or overreacting.

You walk on eggshells, anticipating another person's moods or reactions.

You find yourself repeatedly explaining, defending or justifying yourself.

Your needs or boundaries are dismissed, criticised or turned back on you.

You feel responsible for another person's feelings, behaviour or reactions.

You feel confused by the difference between moments of closeness and how you're treated at other times.

You've become less certain of yourself, your needs or who you are.

How I Work With Narcissistic Abuse

I work from an antagonism-informed framework, helping you make sense of the dynamics you have experienced while keeping the focus on you, rather than diagnosing or trying to change the other person. Through understanding, psychoeducation and validation, we can work to reduce self-blame and rebuild trust in your own perceptions, feelings and needs.

Drawing on Sensorimotor Psychotherapy, we can also explore how these experiences continue to show up in your body and nervous system, building greater capacity to stay connected to yourself and have more choice in how you respond.

We can make space for betrayal, grief, anger and ambivalence, while recognising the emotional, relational and practical complexities of these relationships. The work is not about telling you whether to stay, leave, forgive or end contact, but supporting you to strengthen your sense of self, autonomy and trust in yourself as you decide how you want to move forward.